Unhappy Holidaze

Jan 5, 2024

Feeling mired, tired, and uninspired after the New Year’s break?

Copy that.

We can almost hear the nodding of heads whether in agreement or because of sleep deprivation or both.

Fortunately, we have a diagnosis (and a fix): Holidayitis aka Holidaze, which is brought on by a weeklong spree from December 23 – January 1 of too much food (or the reverse of too much Ozempic and not enough food), TikTok, alcohol, travel, shopping, and football. Also not to be overlooked as a contributing factor is time spent with relatives especially the in-laws (cue the eye-rolls and groans) or, in some cases, out-laws if you’re on the outs with them and/or if they’re charged with having entered restricted areas in National Parks à la Pierce Brosnan.

Holidayitis is a more severe and extended form of Mondayitis, which we wrote about here.

The main symptom of Holidayitis, which overlaps with that of Mondayitis, is agoraworkaphobia. The latter is an aversion of return to work so severe that publicly faked seizures—the more public the better—are felt to be necessary so the sufferers can receive sympathetic permission to go home early and retire to their beds.

The fix is simple:

Strong black coffee, a hot bath, a good night’s sleep, and a firm, persistent reminder to get back to work since all those layaway purchases won’t pay for themselves.